For a couple of decades now I’ve been pondering the meaning of life and teaching spirituality, and just really trying to walk the talk and live a great f’ing life. One of the big aha’s that I’ve had is that being happy isn’t necessarily a result, it’s a choice.
It’s up to me whether I’m going to be happy or not.
It’s not all about me.
It’s not outside of me.
It’s up to me is a choice. If I choose to be happy, imagine a great future, and I’m happy with everything that I can control. That’s making a choice to be happy. It’s not all about me. That means that too often I’m pissed, angry, frustrated, and sad for things that are outside of my control. They are outside of me, but I allow them to affect me. Things aren’t the way I thought they were going to be and now it seems inconvenient. At the end of the day, I imagine a great future and if it doesn’t work out that way, it is what it is. Enjoy the ride, enjoy the journey and impact the moment. It’s not outside of me. There was a great exercise I did years ago. We imagined all of the things in our lives and put it in a bag. Once it was in the bag- it was then outside of me and I didn't let it affect me anymore. I can choose to be happy with what I still have inside of me. What’s going on in the outside world is crazy and there are things going on outside of me that are frustrating but if my happiness depends on that; I’m in trouble. Three takeaways from that are:
Be aware of verbiage and shift that verbiage. Shift from am I? To I am. It’s all about right now and breathing and having gratitude around the now. The verbiage shift is to say that it is. It’s not “I hope today is good” it’s saying “Today is good”. When I put that energy out I am much more apt to get it back.
Act on the things that matter most and the people who matter most. Too often I’m rushing to do other things and then spending time with my children and/or wife when I’m finished. Ask yourself what and who matters most and act on that. As I’m doing that I’m choosing happiness because my kids and my wife make me happy. My health and my friends also make me happy.
Impact the moment. If I imagine a great future and I’m excited about that, my unconscious or subconscious is focused on that. I’m also choosing to improve on the past and continue to learn. Then I’m impacting the moment by slowing down a bit and being in the now. Taking a few moments before and after each encounter or meeting to be focused, to listen, and to be present.
Be aware of verbiage and shift the conversation. Don't be selfish. Act on the things and people that matter most.
Impact the moment.
Ultimately, choose happy, it’s a lot more fun.
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