I often used to look outside myself and say, “as soon as I have this or once I get here or there, then I'll really show up and be magnificent.”  I was using a “lack of” mentality and literally blaming my lack of growth on things I didn’t have. I had lots of excuses.

I'm realizing now that I have everything I need. I believe we all have everything we need within us and with what is already around us. It’s called “The abundance mentality”. It's great to look into the future and it’s a great learning experience looking at the past.  I have found it’s when I appreciate everything I have “right now” and use everything within me and around me to its fullest that life goes to a new level.

How cool is that!

Peace, bob

As I heard in Neal Walsch’s writing’s, “to be sane is to be out of your mind”.

If I keep something in my head it usually drives me crazy.  I make up stories.  I go into fear mode.  See things with a twist.  It is not a great use of my time or brain.

When I share with someone what is going on in my head, whether it be a dream, idea, fear, etc... I become somewhat detached from the thought.  Then I have the chance to decide what to do with it, if anything.

Rather than letting things fester.  It helps me to find someone I can trust to share and be “out of my mind”

It is fun and productive!

Peace, bob

There is a conversation going on inside our heads at all times.  Why not be a part of it? 

Whether we know it or not, there is an inner voice within all of us.  It is chattering constantly.  That one asking you right now, what is he talking about, this is silly, this blog is a waste of my time, etc.

Often the voice is judgmental and questioning, about others and about ourselves.  Am I this or am I that?  Am I good enough, am I a good father, Will I ever be happy? If I let the voice constantly bicker and cut things down it can be somewhat depressing.

Rather than letting the inner voice dictate the tone and direction of the conversation, take some control.  Ask the questions yourself.  Listen and make decisions for yourself.  Take accountability and responsibility for what you are thinking and saying. 

Flip the conversation from am I this or am I that, to I am this and I am that.  Right now.  I am good enough.  I am a good father.  I am happy. 

Often we believe what the voice is saying, why not have it be positive.

So if there is a conversation happening, be a part of it? 

Don't let it be a one way conversation.

Peace

Boredom.  It can strike employees and entire companies if you’re not looking.

I’ve been there.  And I can tell you that where there’s a bored or stagnated company, chances are the company culture – its driving force – bears no resemblance to the entrepreneurial spirit that created it.

I had a brainstorm for my first business, 20 years ago: help U.S. companies distribute into Canada.  Getting volume mail and packages across the border can be complicated and expensive.  So I founded a distribution company.

We had a solid concept, a fired-up staff and a polar bear as a mascot.  What could go wrong?

Plenty, as it turns out.  We grew fast.  We hired dozens of staff and signed big clients.  But we also got lazy, started coasting, lost focus and ran out of cash.  It wasn’t until we looked at who we were and actually put a name to our values – the “Bear Necessities”– and put those values into practice that we got our game back.  Employee satisfaction and sales surged, as did our finances.  I sold that business in great shape.

There was a lesson to be learned, but I was busy starting my next venture – RCS International, another mail distribution company. I knew the market and the formula, I put people and policies in place and we were off and running.  We earned money.  We established routines.  We managed postage, freight, pallets, mailing lists, shipping routes...day after day after day.

I was never so bored in my life.

Clearly I needed to tap the passion that drives me.  I spent time analyzing, researching and consulting with experts, and what I created is iMatter: a leadership approach that fuses personal and business goals to achieve satisfaction and growth.

It’s simple, yet fundamental.  It starts with the values and principles of you, and applies those to the organizational culture.  For me, for example, it’s all about relationships, so I need to make sure that relationships fuel my business.  That’s why, at RCS, we don’t focus on “sales” – we focus on the connections we make for our clients, employees and everyone we come in contact with; in fact, we employ “connections agents” to maintain that focus.   

These days, I spend my time coaching other high-energy, entrepreneurial types and helping them to reach their goals and dreams.  Time and again, I see that the key to their happiness is to create a culture that represents and leverages who they are.  The iMatter approach boils it down: What matters most?  Clarify who you are.  Then put that into place in your business and your life, to achieve success and be happy.

So what about RCS, the company I was bored with because it was no longer fun and didn’t represent me?  I had a chance to sell it, but I didn’t.  The iMatter culture has become an invigorating, grounding process for growing relationships and growing the business.  RCS is thriving.  Revenue should double this year.

Putting out there who I am and what I stand for has been everything but boring.  

Sure, it’s important to figure out what matters most to us in life, from Health and Relationships to Spirit and Craft.  The importance of these areas is significant when setting goals, prioritizing and finding happiness in our lives.  Yet. another true key to happiness is figuring out what matters most in areas we call the little things.

The little things are often things that people don't make a big deal about or ask for.  These can include small gestures that make us feel important, heard and loved.  Or they can be our pet peeves, things that other people do or don't do which bother us.  Some examples are just simply wiping the countertops, saying please and thank you, opening the door for someone, sending a birthday card, taking a moment to let someone know you were thinking of them, turning the lights off or just spending quality time with someone.           

Every anger, fear or frustration is a learning lesson because we can often link the source of it to one of these little things.  It may seem that these things shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but when you think about it a bit more, they often represent something greater. 

For instance, if you have told someone in your household to turn the lights off several times and they continue to leave them on, then it is not actually the fact that the lights are on that bothers you so much, but that you may think this person does not listen to or respect what you are asking.  The negative emotion associated with these actions stems from not feeling acknowledged or heard in the relationship.

Take a moment to think about what these little things are for you.  Do you know what they are and where they stem from? 

In iMatter we use several tools that allow people to check in with themselves. One of the tools is The 5 Minute Check-in http://www.imatter.com/storage/5min_checkin.pdf.  With this tool we encourage people to share what is going on inside their heads.  Once we let it out, we usually start to figure out things for ourselves.

A crucial step to establishing great relationships is to follow the Rules of Engagement. The Rules of Engagement can also help individuals to let the significant people in their lives know what their little things are.